April 21, 2019- Easter Sunday. We had a wonderful day at church, went to two egg hunts, and had a yummy roast prepared by yours truly. I remember feeling like a sort of supermom that day- it was a day I felt like I had gotten things “right” as a mom.
Little did I know there were four people in that picture! And they were not wanting to take any pictures at all, the sun was in their eyes, they were hungry, and really just wanted to go egg hunting. I am so glad I pushed the envelope that day and unknowingly captured n extra special memory. I am especially glad I put myself in front of the camera instead of only focusing on my kids (which I tend to do on special occasions).
That night, I was curious even though I was only a little late. Sure enough, my home pregnancy test was positive. I was surprised but happy, and probably the calmest I had ever been compared to the first two times of founding out. I looked back over the pictures from that day and smiled. I hadn’t known that I was carrying my third miracle around that day, and all the days before. All the days I had not felt like a “good” mom. The days when I beat myself up or felt guilty for wanting to be alone for awhile. This little bean was perfectly nestled inside, growing, changing, and causing me to nap way more than usual! I went back to other pictures, recalling moments (that now made sense) when I had not felt quite like myself.
So now my four little feet will have two more tiny feet to love, to grow with, and to show the ropes of their little way of life. I am anticipating having the best two helpers I could ever ask for. They are excited and ready to meet their younger sibling, and my heart is so full to see how much Baby #3 is already loved. Christmas time will be extra special this year, with another tiny human to celebrate. James Fam, Party of Five!
My heart is happy.